Post by Celmaru Waterfield on Apr 28, 2019 4:02:18 GMT
"Oh dear."
An uninhibited gulping echoed within a modest home. A familiar individual witnessed the event, wagering to herself that this would prove moderately amusing. Phae Waterfield, as she lived and breathed, remained still as an acquaintanced penguin devoured two round objects whole. Abrupt and hasty stomping reverberated throughout a nearby hallway as another familiar face revealed itself. Celmaru Waterfield, the one supposedly a comrade to Kami. Just a few mere days ago, a silver bell had appeared in a minuscule parcel; it was an invitation to train with God. Of course, no such chance was likely to be dismissed. Nevertheless, the hybrid approached the visiting penguin, glancing across his living room coffee table -- only to notice that the silver bell had gone! That was his proof of invitation!
"Empy, what have you done?!"
"Dunnuh -- uRP!"
A gargling belch threatened to escape the pudgy penguin. This damn fowl. The situation had suddenly turned dire. How else was he to prove himself? Empy stared at Celmaru with empty, nigh-soulless eyes. Unsettling. A bead of anxious perspiration descended upon the hybrid's forehead; each second causing him further grief. What would overcome such a bird to consume a bell? Phae, however, imparted an answer to a previous thought. It appeared that someone was snooping within her husband's mind once more.
"I believe the proper term is 'sphenisciformes', husband. Penguins are not fowl."
"Phae... thank you, but I'd prefer input elsewhere."
" 'Tis only for your benefit, husband~!"
Despite the convenient factoid, Celmaru wasn't much for penguin-related details at this time. Empy continued to stare, as emptily as ever, and the hybrid found little other options. To impel Empy to vomit would be crude -- or perhaps animal cruelty. Were penguins endangered? Were penguin Zoanthropes endangered? Regardless, the hybrid grasped the penguin by the armpits... or the flipper-pits; another sort of visit was in order. With a subtle click of the front entryway, both Empy and Celmaru shot off into the distance via the potency of flight.
An inconsequential amount of time later, the din of ailing animals agitated both Celmaru and Empy. At least, from the perspective of the hybrid it seemed so. The penguin's immediate visage was blank, albeit the little bastard's head was sideways. Was he part owl? As the portly sphenisciformes stood in silence, however, his tongue dangled onto his eye. The hybrid took a moment to process this; it almost prompted the hybrid to hit himself in confusion. Surely this penguin originated from a dream. Nevertheless, the waiting time was an approximate thirty minutes. Animals of all sorts were also in waiting; including dogs, cats, lizards, other birds, some form of "domesticated" dinosaur, and even a dik-dik! How curious.
"Xylophone."
A minute tongue flailed about as its originator spoke. Empy stared intently upon the doe-like animal, glancing over its frame like a predator cluing in on its prey's habits. Incontinently, the rotund penguin slid a lone flipper into his encompassing tufts of fuzzy fur; revealing a presumably live firearm! Various responses from the nearby civilians gawked at the flightless bird's ability to wield a weapon, albeit not for long. Brief fascination swiftly reconfigured itself into fear, evoking Empy to swerve himself about -- aiming his firearm as he peered upon his surroundings. In the meantime, Celmaru sat beside the penguin, his arms folded, a discomforted expression within his facial features. The appointment wasn't able to enact itself any sooner.
Within the diagnostic process, Empy attempted to ingest the veterinarian's equipment. Fortunately, the urge hardly lasted, albeit not before the nurses were forced to restrain the naughty penguin. With a brief check-up, alongside some more doctoral processes and other procedures Celmaru wasn't bothered to be aware of -- Empy held the results betwixt the curves of a folded flipper. Empy's signature sidearm was still at his side, albeit it was eventually unloaded by a nurse. The hybrid convened with the veterinarian, being relayed the results beyond the penguin's paper. Apparently, this portly bird swallowed two objects; both were spherical. The hybrid was recommended a dose of laxatives to supplement the penguin's feeding. In case Empy wasn't immediately accepting of a drugged meal, Celmaru was provided further doses in preparation of the worst.
However, the worst hadn't yet to come. As the hybrid was given an explanation on appropriate dosages and proper rectal care for Empy, the penguin pursued further curiosity fulfillment. With a small hop, an implausible jerk, twist, and pseudo-teleportation across the room later, the penguin stared upon the bottle of "medicine". The aforementioned bottle of laxatives, however, appeared similar to Empy's coveted feeding bottle. If he drank from that, he'd feel full, right? Of course; such sound logic! Nothing could bother Empy's upset tummy if he fed himself! Celmaru wasn't providing any evident attention to the penguin, and in failing to do so the flightless bird swilled the entire bottle "gallantly"!
Oh what a mistake that was.
An entire bottle, its entirety in laxatives: consumed. Due to Empy's... "unique physiological circumstances", the effects of the "medicine" wrought upon terrors and undignified shades of brown upon everyone within the room. Horrified nurses and the petrified veterinarian witnessed a shit-show that ascended further beyond literal. It was only moments later, after witnessing a pseudo-traumatic imprinting of excrement and demonic eruptions, that the two spherical objects were procured from the penguin's internals. The events that transpired prior to and following Empy's appointment receded into Celmaru's unconscious mind. They were never to be seen again. Empy and Celmaru transported themselves back to the Waterfield home, both covered in "foul substances". An incomprehensibly unrecognizable bell was held within Empy's flippers; the other orb left inside a capsule -- as Celmaru refrained from even prodding it unless to clean it.
Phae had been resting atop the front patio, admiring the property's scenery. However, a familiar duo seemed to have returned, albeit covered in some unmentionable material. With a palm concealing her lips, the hybrid's wife approached them both as they landed to assess the damage. Empy, the instigator, had been adorned with the Cone of Shame. The penguin's stony gaze was humiliated, albeit ultimately confused as to why he was to sport this plastic perimeter. Celmaru, meanwhile, maintained a visage of disgust, his lips contorting into a perpetual frown. With a spontaneous click and a puff of smoke, a slimy, brown orb plopped onto the courtyard cobblestone. Within the home, a distant apparatus bleeped with significant surety.
"Oh dear."
Hilarious idea in concept, uncomfortable to write about.
TWC: 1070
Light Weights active. Once again searching for a Dragon Ball.
